AICN Forums Quotes page - 2
"Biddle, I'm outraged by this statement... it was totally uncalled for... next time you suggest he "go fuck [himself]", please consider the feelings of other forumers & omit the word "kindly"... thank you..." Blackstar 8/99 ( It seems i wasn't harsh enough with the local fuck-wad D-FENS)
"That's nothing compared to the weird shit you get asked if you're a Brit in the States. I recently had a conversation with a guy from Fort Worth who was surprised to find Europe was east of the US. A Quebecois guy I used to work with in Toronto wanted to know how come, being English, I could get a VISA to go to university in Scotland and whether I crossed the sea between the two by plane or by boat. A guy sitting next to me at the jousting show in Excalibur in Las Vegas wanted to know if Robin Hood was real and seemed to think the decor in the hotel would be a "taste of home for me. I was confused to find that college students I spoke to when I arrived in Toronto had never heard of "Britain", but when I said I was from "England" they knew exactly what I was talking about. A croupier in Lake Tahoe seemed to expect me to know her relatives in Ipswich, (I know we're a small country, but really). During my time in the US and Canada my accent has been mistaken for everything under the sun, from the mundane such as Aussie or Irish to the downright bizarre like Argentinian or Polish." - Radge 8/99
"I may be able to top that. I knew a chick in college who was from Colombia. People used ask her amazingly stupid questions like do you have TV's there. She used to tell them that they couldn't have TV's because they tended to fall out of the trees. She also used to say that Juan Valdez was her uncle and her family was was extremely proud of how well he'd done for himself. People believed her too. Tis a sad sad world." - Boedeca 8/99
"I've had some odd ones as well, such as the english boy in a Florida hotel who thought I was Australian. The bloke who works at the kebab shop down th eroad once asked me "ARE - YOU - FROM - THIS - COUNTRY?" which stunned me so much that I accidentally asked for an extra potion of chips.
I, however, have also got east and west confused - once a question came up on a TV quiz show along the lines of "Name a European capital city west of the meridian." For reasons I have yet to work out, I shouted "Berlin" at the telly." - Thingummy (one G dammit!) 8/99
-----
"Number one reply from an American when you tell them you are from Australia -
"I jerst lerve yur Kangaroos! They are jerst adoooorible.!"
"Not so fuckin' adorable when you have to pick the remnants out of your radiator grill when you hit em doing 120km per hour on the highway"... - Swordfish 8/99
"Is that when you're on the way to throw another shrimp on the barby?" - Biddle 8/99
"Yeah, just before I put on my hat with the corks hanging from it, to fight crocodiles." - Swordfish 8/99
"Stone the crows, that's the ripper! err some shit like that. *snicker*" - Boedeca 8/99
"Listen here bluey, don't come the� raw prawn with me! Take the mickey, will ya? I'll thump the living suitcase outta ya if ya wanna yike. Struth! sheilas like you, going off like a prune in the sun... yer a real Barry Crocker, ya know that? But having had a Captain Cook at yer pic yer alright for an optic and I'd flat out like a lizard drinking to be up ya like a rat up a drainpipe. Anyway, stick that in yer cosh and swing it, I'm a robber's dog." - Swordfish 8/99
"Let's see if I'm up for a translation (...fumbling for my aussie to English dictionary...)
Basically: ok, don't get smart with me, missy. Settle your ass down woman, or I'll put the smack down on you. That's not a threat, it's a promis. Smartass chicks like you always gotta chap my ass. But since I got a look at your pic, I'm not stupid enough to permanently piss you off, 'cause even I'm not stupid enough to deplete the harem, so... so... SO THERE! NEENER NEENER" - Boedeca 8/99
-----
"The only one I remember was a hysterical girl in Toronto who asked me the time, then once she twigged that I had a "cute accent" just kept saying "go on! say something, say something!" then burst into fits of giggles as soon as I opened my mouth." - Radge 8/99
"Yes, that's how I act around guys with cool accents... giggly..." - Thea 8/99
"Right, that's it, I'm going to be hanging around on the New Jersey subway (if there is such a thing) waiting for you to ask me the time now!" - Radge 8/99
"And I will keep my promise... this thread just got me wondering what folks would write if I did say I was heading out..." Thea 8/99
"Well since we are being hypothetical... I would write
Thea, DON"T GO! MY LIFE WILL BE MISERABLE WITHOUT YOU! I'LL KILL MYSELF. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL. STAY THEA! (SOB) (SOB) (SOB)...
What would you say if I left?" Silent1 8/99
"Farewell, oh handsome Antonio Banderas look-alike...." Thea 8/99
"Well shitfire, here I was hoping to score some extra green, Ah well you're right, I'd hate to tarnish your rep. After I got done, Biddle would have blown all his springs, lost all his hair and tried to crawl into his own navel tho. (he inserted a fucking emoticon here, a winking one BLARG!) But I know you know best." Mongo 8/99 (after thea turned down his offer to write her posts for her.)
"I discontinued that offer after Indy hit 1000 posts. I had a nice evening planned for the two of us, candle light dinner and theatre tickets, but he insisted on us going to meet up with some of his "movie star" friends.� After hanging out in front of Chinese Mann's theatre for three and a half hours I finally asked if he had any better way of getting in touch with his "friends". He seemed insulted at first and then decided to take me� to see Kubrick. We drove around for a good two hours and ended up in a curiously run down neighborhood. Indy said it's his "cover". At this point I just wanted to walk away from the date (but I felt obligated since it was a "prize" for hitting 1000 posts.) We walk into this shack and there is this huge fat guy with a beard and spaghetti sauce dripping from his nose. Indy introduced me to "Stanley" and I hardly got to start a conversation with him when a huge fight between the two started. The fat guy kept yelling something like "Who are you and why do you keep coming over here" and "why do you keep calling me Kubrick?" I was out the door as soon as the plates started flying and did not look back. That was the last of the 1000 posts dates." - Cmore 8/99
"The Brave Little Toaster! I love that film!!! The lamp and the hoover are the best!!!!! However, the toaster!! Well, he may be brave, but he sure is an annoying little bastard!!!!" The Cheesy Bitch 8/99
"Oh cripes Biddle, don't do this to me... I'll do anything... I'll wash the jet... I'll scrub the "stains" out of your secretary's dress... I'll put a hit on Stinky... Just don't make me watch this thing again." - Cigar 8/99 (Reacting to my suggestion that we each watch "Radio Flyer" again and discuss it.)
"I know it may upset/confuse you to hear this, but I'm actually quite interested in seeing Mickey Blue Eyes, it looks quite interesting." - Radge 8/99
"C'est la vie, Chappy, you live and learn. Maybe I wrote it too fast and forgot that haste makes waste. The movie wasn't good, and when I'm handed a lemon I try to make lemonade. After all, laughter is the best medicine because it has to get worse before it gets better even though there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But remember, what goes around comes around. Que sera sera, for tomorrow is another day." - The Duke (JeffCNN) (Jess responding to Chappy's comment that he is "quickly becoming the "Cliched Phrase King")
"Okay: the bad guy is a young woman art thief whos next target is a priceless statute of a cat encrusted in 24-karat gold. Call it "THE GIRL WITH THE GOLDEN PUSSY" - W.Leach 8/99 (Coming up with a name for the next Austin Powers flick.)
"Star Wars... Hmmmm... what can I say about Star Wars that someone else hasn't already said??... Han has a massive shlong!" -The Cheesy Bitch
"Biddle... I think we have a new sound bite" Disposable Rob 8/99
"WOOHOO! I'd rather have a bite of that shlong though..." - The Cheesy Bitch 8/99
"What melodrama? I just told you to calm yourself, and decided to show the newbie some respect... let her know that not everyone here is a whiny bitch like you. I meant that in the nicest way possible." - Babydave 8/99
"I would have to say that the ending of TITANIC ruined it for me, man, I mean we spend two hours getting to know Kate and Leo, and then BAM! The film takes a sudden turn, and the boat SINKS!! What the hell was up with that?" - W.Leach 8/99
Oh man, shouldn't you have put a SPOILER warning before you wrote that? Jez..." - Desert Wanderer 8/99
"Don't worry. Cmore's like a grumpy old tomcat that misses his pre-neutured days. Sometimes he can be smoochy and purring, on others when you try to pat him he hisses and gets all snappy with his tail waving back and forth like a windscreen wiper. Just get a bit of string and pull it around the floor, that usually makes him happy..." -� Swordfish 8/99
"My vote in that Category is "Crazy in Alabama." Directorial debut of Antonio starring wifey-poo Melanie, sporting a really bad Alabama-southern accent, and Meat Loaf as the stereotypical fat racist corrupt southern sherrif.
I can't wait to see how they portray every white person as being KKK and lynching blacks every night by the outhouse." - The Duke (JeffCnn)
"well, I haven't seen it... but I OWN it... yep, I'm in one of those video clubs and I forgot to send in the notice that I didn't want it... Actually, I tend to forget this often, and have built up a collection of films that I really don't like or haven't seen yet." - Thea 8/99
"This movie's about as funny as a one-legged monkey trying to tap dance to Cole Porter while spinng a plate at the end of a stick." - W. Leach 9/99
"But is the stick orange or purplish red? Is the monkey one-legged from an old war wound or was it cut off in a jealous fit of rage by his then-boyfriend? I mean one's just plain funny, while one is just overly upsetting... ***insert laughing emoticon here*** - is that permissable Thea? I can't afford the fines!" - Flick Chick 9/99
"Hey Biddle, what do I have to do to get on your website? Been here for over a year, but you've got nothing from me there?!" -Fafhrd 9/99
"GET THE FUCKING NASTY IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD! AHHHH! NO! MUST STOP
What the fuck is wrong with you Har_Jar-Brian?! You sound pretty damn interested in that Jabba doll don't you? Cut a tiny, tiny hole with a pin and you've got yourself a new sex toy to replay the entire ROTJ scene in your mind.
'Oh Jabba. Eat my frog. Eat it!' " - Guy 9/99
"Well, it seems it's too late for you too, evil satanists have obviously sacrificed your brain to their local holy can of spam." - Mage 9/99
"Oh really? Do you walk around club hopping with the chain swinging from your belt spouting lines like, "Money Baby," all the while packing heat and acting neurotically."
I KNOW I DO..." - Keyser Soze 9/99
"I heard from a number of people that blockbuster v. edit films before they let people rent them... I was told that when TITANIC came out you could for a small fee get the edited version... Is this true? My friends say they saw a movie in the theatre and when they rented it the sex scene was gone.... has anyone ever heard about this or is it just here in Phila... BBV does not have any x rated films nor do they have non rated films... plus I hate their attitude when you fail to rewind a film... they stand there and give you a speech... and from some 5.50 per hour guy in a really bad blue button down cotton shirt that he is too lazy to iron... don't get me started on shirts that should be ironed... my mother made me learn to iron when I was 15 and I could not leave the house unless they were perfect... I can now out iron the Chinese... no offense... but back to BBV... anybody know about this... wow I just thought about mom and when I didn't clean my room she called the cops on me and they showed up at our house and she marched them into my bedroom... but that can only be told over e-mail." - Pike1 9/99
"For FR02, is there really is going to be an Aussie premiere of "The AstroNUT's Wife", then I would steer clear, because I'm sure it's an insidious ploy by the monarchists to lure in replublicans and turn their brains to mush. My brain still feels like it's waiting for the spin cycle. BLECHHHH! Ed Wood lives and his name is Rand Ravich!! Beware!! - Filmex 9/99 (Poor Filmex, he still hasn't gotten over Johnny Depp stealing away his best goat.)