AICN Forum Quotes Page - 3

Guy - 9/99

"ecralym how about writting a long review on what you thought of the film. I don't get really interested in watching a film by hearing lines like "adrenaline soaked thrill ride". Was it a fun film? Were you scared? How did you overstep the plot holes? If you can answer these questions I'd be a lot more willing to see this medicore looking picture. Thanks."

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Cmore 9/99

"Too bad there is not a handy little menu bar above each post with a "delete" button in between an "email reply" and an "edit" button. That would be a nice feature to have in case you posted the same message twice, wouldn't it? It would be almost as handy as that "reply as an asshole" button I have on my menu bar."

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A-Pathetic9/99
"Oh, sure, the Aussies can get together and watch all kinds of films together and you hit my town and not a word. I can take a hint. Who needs you? Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to cry myself to sleep as soon as I finish oiling my gun."

Filmex 9/99
"Hey A-P, you all but disappeared from here for months! Then reappeared to announce you were about to have a baby.
Personally, I felt you would have more time for the forums if you allowed your wife to carry the unborn child to term. But, what do I know.

And, based on your endless sniping up til now, I was
afraid that your idea of a fun movie night with me would
culminate in you rolling my wheelchair down Shea until I
crashed into a Metro bus. No thank you.

However, if you think you can control your sadistic
tendencies, email me your phone number and hopefully we
can rendezvous in the future."

A-Pathetic 9/99
"First off, I'd never do that with your wheelchair. They equip those things with brakes, and if you thought to put them on I'd just end up looking silly. Secondly, if I crashed you into a Metro bus there's a chance your oxygen tank might explode and take me with you. No thank you!"

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Boedeca 9/99
"I heard some movie critic on TV call Stigmata "The Linda Blair Witch Project". Made me chuckle."

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Flickchick 9/99
"I just have to remark on Time Bandits, also known to my family and friends, "The film that f***ed her up"...I was, well I don't remember how old I was when my folks took me to see it, but let's just say that was the last time any Time Bandit viewing ever took place before my eyes. It's so funny to think about it now, but I refuse to watch it under any circumstances because I have hideous pictures in my warped mind of a parent turned into charcoal and various weird little creatures that gave me nightmares ever since... My sister is 4 years older than me (me=25) and to this day, she rents it bi-annually just to piss me off. Ha! I'll show her, wait 'til I get a hold of that bastard Willy Wonka tape of hers!! hee hee hee!

I've never seen Baron Munchausen - guess why?!?!"

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Thingummy 9/99
"When I logged into the forum just now, I was welcomed by a screen that said 'Welcome to Voices neil young!'

What is wrong with me?"

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Cigar 9/99
I can tolerate a lot of stuff in here, but I WILL NOT stand for anyone dissing Lara. The poor gal's been through a lot. I've personally killed her about 300 times with ill-timed jumps and lava baths."

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Buck 9/99
"I guess I'm confused here...someone help me out.

*** Offensive statement spoiler alert ***


"blows worse than a cheap hooker" (Cigar)

Wouldn't that mean that it wouldn't blow very much?? Or very well? If that's the case it would be a DECENT to GOOD movie because it does NOT blow.

Now, if you would have said something like, "Buck's posts blows MORE than a cheap hooker..." Now THAT'S saying something.

Well, I think I got your point...I'll probably stay away."

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Filmex 9/99
"I may be wrong here, but, in regards to swordy's quiz, I think the cryptic bits at the end are a very Euro/Aussie
thought process kinda thing. I looked at those things and instantly went Michael Palin with "MY HEAD HURTS!!".
You have to understand the American educational system prepares you to tackle intensive analysis of the multiple
choice variety, particularly with three out of the four possibilities screaming, "Yeah, right!".
In other words, if it's possible to dumb down the next quiz, I'm sure we Yanks would appreciate it."

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Filmex 9/99
' "No fucking contest!
"Deep Impact" had a heart, "Armageddon" had 40 edits per minute.
"Deep Impact" had Robert Duvall and Leelee Sobieski. "Armageddon" had Ben Affleck singing "Leaving On a Jet Plane" in all earnestness.
"Deep Impact" had enough humanity to actually make one care when children were given to other children to save.
"Armageddon" gave everyone enough reasons to cheer for a comet to end the whole freakin' species.'

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The Cheesy Bitch 9/99
"The only news I want to hear about Scream 3 is that Courtney Cox and Neve Campbell both get killed off in the first five minutes, paving the way for a 2hr cameo from George Clooney, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson and Denzel Washington all getting naked and getting freaky with the sqooshy cream with a new up and coming star from bonnie scotland called, well....funnily enough...the Cheesy Bitch!

... and that goes for "I'll be fucked if I care what u did last summer" too!"

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Cmore 9/99
"Is this a trick question? Wait, is this a question at all? How about this? Is this a question? Argggggg!!! Was that an exclamation? Is this a question asking if that was an exclamation? This is a statement. Or is it? If it were a statement, I surely must have had to of stated something. Well, I suppose I was stating that that was a statement, therefore stating something, therefore a statement, is this a run-on sentence? Anyway, to answer your non-question question, no, I do not want "some more news on Scream on this site". But that was not really the answer to your non-question question was it? Your non-question question was "does ANYONE else want some more news on Scream on this site(?)". Now, I can not answer for ANYONE. But I will answer for EVERYONE. No, we (meaning EVERYONE) do not want "some more news on Scream on this site". And Screamer does not count. Its his fucking name for Christ's sake."

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Ghostyboy 9/99
"what the fuck is every1s problem in here. i ask a simple fucking question, and you all say weird fuckin stuff."

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Chapchan 9/99
"But who ever said I was Moses? What about that other guy? You know, that Rameses dude? Sure he may have been mean and all that, but he got to wear cool hats."

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Swordfish 9/99
"Our thought-missing platinum club member The Prankster appears to now be writing reviews for Harry, judging by the Princess Mononoke review on the main page.Will he return to the forums? and, if so, in Thea's absence will he try and regain a spot in the top ten. Could an epic battle ensue? Do we really care? Should I get a life? Should my wife remove all sharp instruments from the house?..."

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Ratty 9/99
"Actually, I have a great deal of fondness for the first two of the "Tomatoes" series. Hell, I went to see the first one IN THE THEATER! Of course, it helped that I was 8 years old. It also helped that I was retarded."

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Cmore� 9/99
"Well, I am not a physics study. I figure if I am not in the house, I am out of the house. If I am standing outside the circle, I am not in the circle. If I am on the beach, I aint in the ocean. If I am in the car, I am not on the bus. If I am eating a La Big Mac, I didn't go into Buger King. If my left hand is in, I am not shaking all about. And if I am not eating the first piece of cake, then it aint my fucking birthday.


But just to make you happy, I will answer the question.

Uh...Vampires and Stuff
Return of the Vampires
Vampires, Mad Dudes With Sharp Teeth
Vampire Steakhouse
My Grandma is a Vampire
Vampire the Movie
Vampires
Vampire�
Vampire's Big Adventure
Two Wang Fang, Thanks For Everything Bella Leguisi
Just Another Vampire Film
Vampire's Day Out (A short film)
Look Mom, There's a Vampire in My Coffin
and, Vampire For Hire"

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Saccharine 9/99
"Scream 3 can kiss my magnificent nuts. Does anyone really care anymore about these films?"

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Boedeca 9/99
"What... No OJ? It completely loses that certain blasphemous je ne sais quoi without OJ.

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Swordfish 9/99 (A poem about Hurly Burly)
"Just in case my last post,
did not convince you all the most,
Then I feel that by writing prose,
will sway even the most ardent of those,
Who find qualities in this movie,
That are cinematically groovy.

But before from the film I take the piss,
I know it would be amiss,
Not to tell you that that night,
I was in a savage fight,
The victim of a mugging,
by two junkies out a-thugging,
My mood was rather sour,
when I rented the movie at that late hour,
So yes I was quite surly,
when I watched Hurlyburly,
And my opinion is probably tainted,
of the picture the movie painted,

I think the fault may lie with Penn,
who should have acted when,
He first perused the script,
in half it should have been ripped,
And he's partnered here with Spacey,
who just like William H. Macy,
Will take anything he's offered,
his bank account has proffered,

Once again he's swimming with sharks,
basing his character on Ray Stark,
And if these two aren't jailbaiting
then each other's cars their tailgating,
Their mate's played by Chazz Palmintari,
who thinks that to play scary,
Is to equate his style of acting,
with something nuclear reacting.
Poor Meg Ryan's trying
but baby I aint buying
Let's call a spade a spade,
and leave the drugs to Dennis Quaid.
And then there's little Anna,
into who's career has been thrown a spanner,
By doing a role so narrow,
unlike her great work in "The Piano",
But the kudos go to Garry Shandling,
who gives his role the best handling,
Playing it for a laff,
and reducing the monotony by half,

All these assholes so habitual,
in their craving of things barbitual,
Makes for viewing that's mind numbing,
seeing this stars all slumming
Including Robin Wright,
cast so she could spend the night,
And Penn wouldn't lose his life,
being caught cheating on his wife,
The hapless director is named Drazen,
and I think you would be brazen,
To suggest that his career,
has no fallen on its ear,
David Rabe's play was feted,
but these days its terribly dated,
Purple prose is not audacious,
just pretentious and loquacious,
I know he's just a phony,
I don't care if he won a Tony,

Filmex it's obvious you lost your glasses,
by putting me among DFENS' masses,
Buddy you know it's me,
not Happy Meal or Rubby,
But yes you are forgiven,
I'll let you go on livin',
A debate I'd never wage,
with someone of your age,
So let's both disagree,
and the beers they're on me,
I've wasted enough of your time,
with my little rhyme,
I'm off to lick the dish,
of the lovely Mrs. Fish!!!!