AICN Forum Quotes Page 4b

So there are the silly and pointless
reasons why I will change from being the
hall monitor to the staunchy old guy.
(Filmex is the festive old guy.) I will
now say, "Harumph!" a lot.

Ahhh, a man after my own heart. Harumph is one of my favorite words. It comes out particularly stodgy, I find, if you say after smoking a full bowl of cherry cavendish pipe tobacco. It helps to be wearing a tweed jacket with elbow patches as well.

Well, Mr. Chan, I hope to earn your respect. No need to jump the gun and feign acceptance until I do so."

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Flickchick 9/99
"Oh, my, you obviously have not heard about the newly placed ban on this movie after the forum members all got a sneak peek... filmex and biddle complained to the studio because said film has far too many references to all things sheep-related... they like to keep their peculiar affection towards said sheep quite private (I just happened to stumble upon poorly scanned pictures of rather slutty looking sheep autographed to said members Biddle and Filmex). The two members were afraid their 'private' club was just getting too many hits on their "www.sheeplovin.com (tm)" site... I suppose with you assuming Fight Club's main characters name as your screen name, you better watch out for any private messages sent from screen names derived from the word 'sheep'... good luck to you Mr. Fight Club... and may god have mercy on you biddle and filmex...

heh heh! okay, here's one just for you two:
Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and
the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.
SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!
SH2: What about the sheep ?!?
SH1: F**K the sheep !!!!
SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?"

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The Duke 10/99
"Ah, filmex, a man after my own heart. Lots of dittos in your review. If you were a female, I'd say you were perfection personified! But we're both guys, so I'll fake a punch to you in the stomach and say "you're alright, dude."

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Darklands 10/99
"meatmarket - on the pull. I met this Polish girl called Agnieska - within five minutes of eyeballing each other our tongues were tickling our tonsils. Then she asked me how big my bed was! Now this kind of female forwardness doesn't happen every day and I was getting real excited. 'Super Kingsize' I replied. 'When do I get to check it out' she asked.'Tonight' I suggested. 'Can't' she replied, 'I've got to look after my friend' (She had a pal visiting from Poland, and they shared the same room). 'How about tomorrow' I proposed. 'Yeah' She replied 'But it'll have to be late, like 11PM'. Next day I was getting really freaked out, like a kid on Christmas Eve, and this was bad because when I get stressed, I get a serious case of Mr Floppy! I didn't have the budget for Viagra so I went to the local chemist to get myself some ginseng, then downloaded a load of porn from the internet. But as the hours and minutes closed on 11PM I was getting myself seriously wound up - who was this girl who used chat up lines
like 'how bigs your bed' and what was she going to do with me! Then 11PM came and nothing happened, then (you guessed it) at 11.30PM the phone rang. Fearing the worst I answered and it was
Agnieska. 'You're going to hate me for this'� she said. 'I can't come because I've got a boyfriend'. Talk about tease!!!!!"

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Thea 9/99
"Can't say I've ever really had a "date from hell" ... There was a blind date who showed up in jeans (that's fine), and a pair of VERY ratty sneakers that looked like he'd just run the New York City Marathon in (I'm not a clothes snob but for a first BLIND date, come on!!) ...

Also, in addition to finding him completely unattractive, he had a terrible "spitting" habit ... I could have used some wipers... And I lost my appetite when, at our small table, I noticed he spit in my food!!!

There was no second date."

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New quotes added Oct 10 start here.

Cmore 10/99
"I have not the slightest idea what the fuck you are talking about. My best guess is that it has something to do with fucking anime or Pokemon. Since I do not know for sure I will just say
FUCK YOU and talk about something that requires brain cells you fucking talkback inbred pile of worthless Harry Knowles shit stain toilet scum."

Excuse me everyone, I am not feeling well.

Swordfish 10/99
"Ladies and gentlemen, Cmore Skinner, Principal of AICN Elementary has spoken....next time it will be a day's detention cleaning the toilets."

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Chappy 10/99
Would the sequel be 'The Seventh Sense'?

"Sorry, had to say it. Right up there with Apollo 14 and Elizabeth II and the 14th Warrior and 13 Angry Men and The Magnificent 8 and the 8 Samurai and You Only Live Thrice and . . . ok, I will stop now."

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Flickchick 10/99
"Okay, now to the thread topic - I just have one thing to say - you will have about a 99% chance of getting the kiss you ask for... I mean, even if a guy is a less-than-stellar fella, the cuteness
factor of the question will win out... have had guys just give the kiss, and I love the refreshing thought of a guy asking permission... and I imagine it would be easier to take an "I'm not sure" answer than the gal's face turning away in bewilderment..."

Biddle 10/99
"Ah, but Flick chick, you're ignoring the "Biddle Factor". That's right folks, the geeks in Biddle genetics have perfected "Biddle Lip liner" taken from samples of my genes, the weirdos in my labs have successfully created a lip-gloss that tastes like me, once a woman is kissed by whomever is wearing "Biddle Factor" satisfaction is guaranteed, of course Biddle Inc takes no responsibility if
the man doesn't perform to the female's standards.

Buy "Biddle Factor" and kiss like a god."

Flickchick 10/99
"I've heard the "Biddle Factor" isn't testing well due to its similarity to the smell of day old road kill and foot fungus... guess you'll need to keep revamping that personal touch, eh Biddle? also, a guy wearing any kind of lip liner (even the smelly kind) has got to be a turn off for just about any gal... and the ones that would be turned on have thus far rejected the Biddle Magic (tm) that is so often associated with your borderline-sterling products... keep on truckin' with the products Biddle! I hear they're doing well in high security prisons worldwide! hee hee."

Biddle 10/99
"Biddle Inc's policy is "I don't care if it works, just market it to death and sell sell sell" and it's been working, yeah, baby... anyway funny-girl, I have a feeling you're going to be seeing Kathy Lee on the photo gallery sometime soon...

Flickchick 10/99
"OH GOD NOOOOOOO!!! Penance, Mr. Biddle? Need me to get a few chicks together to dance provactively for you, oh God of my idolatry???? Anything, just no more Kathy Lee!!!!! (p.s.: I have friends who are taking a long weekend trip to New York this weekend and the only show they could fit in their schedule was Regis and the Kathster... HAHAHAHAHA! They're hoping they will at least have someone cool like Donny & Marie or that chick who used to be on The View... BWAHAHAHA!) - although, my jealousymeter did go up when I found out they're also going to Caroline's to see David Alan Grier and then to Cabaret.... errrggg! - glad to see you took the sheep quote all the way to the quotes page... I knew you'd enjoy reading it over and over again (insert sheepish looking emoticon here)"

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Disposable Rob 10/99
"My thoughts on Lola?
I might date the Lola of the first run.
I wouldn't date the Lola of the second run who would stick up her own father.
I would date the kind hearted Lola of the third run. We would go to Vegas."

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Filmex 10/99
"Someday I'm going to drum up the change to rent the wading pool at the BOB, and I'm going to invite all my forum friends except Thinny who I know would object on the basis of some pommy hydrophobia condition."

Thingummy 10/99
"OI! To you I'm limey. To Swordfish I'm pommy. Okay?"

Filmex 10/99
"You're whatever I want you to be, you pomegranate colored limey."

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FR02 10/99
"Relax, Chappy, relax. Just wondering, not making an fuss.

I'll go stand in the corner now."

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Cmore 10/99
"No shit. I got to the point where I was reading the first and last sentence of every paragraph like I was back in college. I tried to argue just for the sake of arguing in that thread, but even I was not sure what the hell I was talking about. Fuck Catholics, fuck Religion, fuck protests, fuck Disney (for the hell of it), fuck Bruce Springsteen (I bought his greatest hits for posterity and I realised later I fucking hate Bruce Springsteen), fuck girls with attitudes, fuck the French, fuck bristle car washes, fuck boy bands, fuck television (especially anything by David Fucking Kelley), fuck Harvey Wienstein (because he is a fucking fat ass, ass hole), fuck McDonalds, fuck the US government (I know, too easy), fuck cell phones, fuck rednecks, fuck Kevin Costner, fuck the highway patrol, fuck mornings, fuck vitamins, fuck talk radio, fuck basketball, fuck Blockbuster Video, fuck waiting rooms, fuck indoor shopping malls, fuck Oprah, fuck people who watch Oprah, fuck gameshows, fuck meter maids, fuck FSU, fuck cancer, fuck hangovers, fuck top 40 radio, fuck college radio, fuck Rodney Dangerfield for ever making LadyBugs, fuck The Blue Angels, fuck Sidney Pollack, fuck Rosie Odonnel, fuck pyramid schemes, fuck rush hour, fuck digital technology, fuck NASA, fuck the overuse of cuss words, fuck cold cereal, fuck dead batteries, fuck that bitch at Target with a fucking attitude, fuck love, fuck NY, fuck you, fuck tapestries, fuck Gwenyth Paltrow, fuck Gwenyth Paltrow again, fuck pot, fuck bottled water, fuck automatics, fuck uniforms, fuck fuckheads, fuck April, fuck People Magazine, fuck food stamps, fuck jewel cases, fuck allergies, fuck mathematics, fuck laundry, fuck second hand smoke, fuck my hairdresser, fuck my credit card debt, fuck rain, fuck winners, fuck contacts, fuck insurance, fuck painters, fuck the new 20 dollar bill, fuck Walmart, Really fuck Walmart, fuck lunchtime, fuck mono sound, fuck cats, fuck anyone kissing their bosses ass, fuck Christmas, fuck birthday songs in restaurants, fuck my bad attitude."

Swordfish 10/99
"Done all those Cmore. I must have been good with the Target slag, I get 10% off now....but I must have had the flop when I was with the hairdresser as I now look far too much like David Cassidy.
As for the cats...well there was a gal who used to model Marlboros dressed as a catwoman...so I guess that counts."

FR02 10/99
"cmore is there something you are trying to tell us?"

Swordfish 10/99
"Yes, they are basing the "Falling Down" sequel on Cmore's life. For the sake of realism they are casting Andy Dick in the lead."

FR02 10/99
"I think Ron Jeremy would be better, Swordy.

*Fr's impersonation of Ron Jeremy " oooo you know you want it baby, do you like it like that, ooooh, yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh just there baby...."*

I think he could really do cmore to a t. At least the naked bit."

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Ambernt 10/99
"I expected a stunning beauty to be cast as Galadriel. Blanchett is ok, I guess, but gee wiz can't she afford a nose job?" --- VOTED DUNDERHEADED POST OF THE WEEK---

Quotes added October 14 start here

Cmore 10/99
"Where do you get this information from? The truth be told I am an idiot from the outer sanctum. I used to live in the inner sanctum but moved because that part of the sanctum was getting a bit run down. That and traffic was always a bitch. I actually live on the outskirts of the outer sanctum, otherwise known as the southern sanctum circumference. The outer sanctum is a much friendlier community and I am glad I made the switch. My children will finish out the school year in the inner sanctum and make the switch to Outer Sanctum Circumference High. I only live about five minutes from Sanctum Edge Lake, and I am looking to purchase a boatslip there for my new sailboat. Sorry if I am making to much of a fuss about my move from the inner sanctum, I just feel it was one of the best decisions I could have made in my life and am proud to live in a place that Town & Country named one of the top ten places to live.'

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Chandler Bing 10/99
"Please don't ever pay homage to me or put a quote up from me, else everyone will wonder who Chapman Bong is."

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CosmicRay 10/99 (Portion of an interview with Sarah Michelle Gellar)
"The interview was last night, and at 45 minutes, went on a bit longer than I expected. Sarah was very cordial -- certainly friendly, but with the sort of heavily coached and controlled demeanor that belied who has spent 17 of her 22 years in the business. She did say that it was a relief to be able to discuss a topic -- Judaism and its role in her life -- that isn't the normal fare of Seventeen magazine and its ilk. Nonetheless, she was very well-prepared for the interview and, my best efforts to the contrary, she seemed to have anticipated the bulk of my questions. (Perhaps I should have thrown in the "red-haired usher" question after all. Sorry, Chappy.)

Among those revelations likely to be included in my story:

1. As a faith, Judaism has played a small role in her life. Growing up, her family rarely attended schul except on the high holidays and did not keep either kosher or shomer shabbos. However, as a culture, she believes it has been the most important force in her life, steering her toward a commitment to family, charity, moral justice, and long, fruitless arguments for argument's sake. (the last would seem to recommend her for participation here, but I didn't mention that.)

2. Though religious conviction is not her strong point, she said she does feel somewhat sicked to see Hollywood's shallow preoccupation with Jewish mysticism, i.e. Kaballah.

"Kaballah is meant to be studied by rabbis who have had years and years of religious study and training, who know Torah and Talmud inside out, who have graduated at the top of their Yeshiva and have the wisdom of a Shlomo. Somehow, I don't think Madonna qualifies. Don't get me wrong, I love Madonna, but this is something that's meant to be sacred and holy and, most of all, SECRET, and it seems to be treated like a twelve-step program."

3. She makes a killer falafel Sandwich, including homemade hummus, babaganush, and tahini sauce.

4. To answer the one question I definitely drew from a fellow forumer (pardon me, but I forget which one brought it up) Sarah said, No, a child actor is NOT equipped to know what they want to do with their lives or to exercise true free will about their choice of professions. In fact, she said that the experience is one that she draws on quite a bit for Buffy, who likewise had and has no choice in her being "chosen" as Slayer, and often harbors some resentment about that decision being made for her. Ultimately, though, Sarah said she thinks her mother choosing for her to be a child actor is no different than virtually every parent steering their child in a particular direction. It may or may not be the correct choice, but she feels that for her, it was.

5. Does she consider the make-up commercials selling out, or does she imagine they might diminish her credibility? (another adapted from a forum question) "I have no credibility!" she said laughing. Having done commercials since her 5-year-old Burger King spot that first earned her attention, it's not something she thinks twice about, she said.

6. She reads the Economist magazine (something I knew from 1998's Rolling Stone interview) and considers Milton Friedman her favorite economist. (Ahhh, at least it was someone laissez-faire.....but I digress.)

7. Her previously quoted penchant for "big, burly Irish guys" notwithstanding (another tidbit from the RS interview), she said it was "fairly important" to her that she marry a Jewish man, or at least one willing to assist her in her wish of raising a Jewish family. (At which point, I had to let her know that I was BOTH Jewish, AND a "big burly Irish guy." She responded "so when can you be in L.A....(with a giggle)" Be still my beating heart.)

8. She said she imagines doing Buffy perhaps another two or three seasons, but hasn't made any decisions yet about the future.

9. No comment about her reported on-set feuds with Susan Lucci on All My Children.

10. She said she will miss working with David Boreanaz, who she considered her best friend on the set, but is "overjoyed" to see him starring in his own series. "He is a star, and he needed his own show. I wouldn't be surprised if his show ends up with more fans than ours."


And I guess I gotta save some things for publication. Thanks again for everyone's input. I'm on Cloud 9 today, and I don't mean the crappy George Harrison album."

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Thea 10/99
"I know from personal experience that CosmicRay is neither gay nor a freak."

CosmicRay 10/99
"Ha....that's what YOU think!"

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Shadwell 10/99
"This rather unexpected post has led me to believe that Anonymous has either recently gotten laid (through the use of hypnosis or Vodun magic, of course, but laid nonetheless) or needs to badly. Perhaps we all should follow suit and post nude photos of ourselves. Wait, let me amend that--all of us whose names don't begin with "C," "D," or "B" should follow suit and post nude photos of ourselves. They'd make a damn fine addition to Biddle's site. On second thought, let's just start alt.sex.aicn.forums! Then if that works out well we can branch off into more specialized forum-fetishes such as alt.sex.biddle.corporate-orgies or alt.sex.douchebag.lawn-gnomes..."

Blackstar 10/99
"would you believe my 1st name is Louis? yeah, Louis BlackStar.."

Buck 10/99
Dammit.

Cheesy Bitch 10/99
"Damnit also!"

CosmicRay 10/99
"Triple damnit!"

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Shadwell 10/99
"And speaking of Han Solo, the man probably had a below-average schlong (or, more appropriately, a "schlort"), despite your comments to the contrary. This is why he carried a big gun, flew a fast ship, and poked fun at Luke & Ben so much in ANH. It wasn't that he didn't believe in The Force so much as he felt threatened by their lightsabers."

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Cheesy Bitch 10/99
"I had THEE worst movie going experience EVER when i went to see JACKIE BROWN, and it didn't help that the film was pants aswell as the experience!

It was okay for the first...oooohhh.....20 minutes or so. There was a large group of lads sitting a few rows in front of me, but at first I thought nothing of it, I mean I could see and everything, but then....it happened....

How long is this film?? maybe about 21/2 - 3 hrs? Well imagine 7 or 8 tall blokes getting up, going out, coming back in, getting up, going out, coming back in at least every 10 minutes during the movie!!!

As if this wasn't bad enough, they thought they'd be really "cool" and smoke and drink in the cinema. All of them, in a row smoking there asses off because "it's not allowed" I could barely see the god damn screen for all the smoke, never mind breeth. And the fucking noise of them opening can after can of lager, I could've screemed!!!!!!! It was only because I was there with my bloody mother that I didn't cause a fucking riot!!!

And of course being sad, pathetic twats they thought it would be amusing to talk along with the movie and repeat lines over and over again at the top of their lungs, and of course they had to clap at the screen and make stupid noises whenever someone got killed or something.

ACK! WHY ARE MEN SUCH ARSEHOLES??!!!!"

Shadwell 10/99
"It's all in the testicles, Cheesy. Those buggers change your whole world view once puberty hits (and passes). If we don't act loud and obnoxious our peers may think we're gay--and we certainly can't have that. Acting civil might get you banned from the next kegger!"

Cheesy Bitch 10/99
"Oh! It's okay then. As long as there's a reason!

I think it's time to rid the world of testicles!!!!

LADIES.......Scissors ready?"